Being grateful to God must be an everyday task. However, the rhythm of life imposed by modern society is so brutal that we have to impose ourselves a day to take pause, get together and give thanks for the wonderful harvest of blessings that we have received. Ironically, we have converted this day of pause in a frantic experience: the cooking; the traveling; the awkwardness of being together by obligation and not by choice. We are even losing the meaning: some people call it Turkey Day!
This Thanksgiving has a special meaning to me. Exactly one year ago, at the moment of prayer at the table, I felt I had nothing to be grateful for. I was inside the Perfect Storm. A combination of my pituitary tumor and the medication I need to take for life to control it, the fact that my youngest sister was just released from a mental hospital after a really severe episode of depression joined my own demons inside my mind to create this Perfect Storm. I’ve lost the will to live, my sense of purpose; I even lost God. I didn’t took my life because I was certain that, based on my life experience, God was near, even though I couldn’t feel him.
Sailing through that Perfect Storm has been the most difficult task in my life. I do have a lot to give thanks for this year. I am thankful for my family, who carried me when I had no energy or will to move on; I am thankful for my little sister breakdown, because I was forced to family therapy, which opened my door to my treatment. I’m thankful for my spiritual advisor, who taught me again to pray saying: “dear Lord, I have nothing to offer you, just here I am”. I’m thankful because I have access to wonderful therapists, a privilege that most can’t afford. I’m thankful for my sister’s 40th birthday, because it was a reminder that life must be celebrated. I’m thankful for my two passions: scrapbooking and Conan O’Brien, that provided me satisfaction, laughter and time for myself. I am grateful for my catechism classes, because they make me to look inside and share that tiny flame of faith that was almost extinguished.
I’ve sailed the worst part of the storm (I really hope), but it’s not over. As I keep sailing the uncertain ocean of life, the possibility of finding a perfect storm again is there. But today I give thanks that, if that happens again, now I know you can sail through it and stay alive.
Edit: I feel the need to clarify because people are getting uber excited. This doesn’t mean the show is saved - not yet. Sony co-produces the show with NBC, and has every reason to want it renewed for a fourth season. So keep thanking Sony for their support of the show, and they’ll keep working to keep it on the air! <3